nine lives

Yesterday morning was a scary one for me and my little boy cat, Pal. He's been crying lately over what we thought was a sore paw, but yesterday it got a lot more serious.

Pal is a big boy. He likes his food a lot, and most days is very impatient around feeding time. Yesterday morning, though, he was no where to be seen. I called him. Nothing. Rattled his food container. Nothing. I even poured food into his bowl and guess what? Nothing. After looking all through the apartment I finally found him in his litter box. He was there for almost 5 minutes and then came out crying.

It turns out he had a blockage (crystals forming in the body) that was making it hard for him to urinate. This is a serious disease in cats and can be fatal. I know this because my first cat died this way. So, of course, I immediately thought the worst and for most of the morning tears rolled down my face. When I took him to the vet, I could barely get the words out to explain what was going on.

$277 later, we are waiting on results from his urine sample to see what to do next. Can there please be 8 lives left?

a million and one things

My mind has been working over time lately, pulling in every direction in existence and maybe creating new directions. I don't even know where to start. A list will be best. I think.

1. I want to play soccer.
2. Dance and dance and dance.
3. I forgot how much I love Jack Johnson....because I just couldn't listen to him for a while. Now, that he's back in my life, though, I appreciate him that much more.
4. I am sick of being angry. I know that when I feel out of control, the only thing I CAN control is my emotions....but it just doesn't feel that way.
5. I want to be here and I want to be there. I don't want to do it, but I do. Can I just lie in the middle of the floor and listen to this song for hours?
6. By the way, the song is I Don't Wanna Wait by Roli Golan
7. I love my job, but I am not a good assistant. I am a reluctant leader. I try to hide it and pretend that I don't want it, but I do. I'm just scared.
8. I need a "good" duplicate of myself to boss me around when I don't feel like running or eating the right food, or when I get lazy. She'll have rosy cheeks and a beautiful singing voice.
9. Sometimes, I just want quiet. I can't get to a peaceful place too many days.
10. Buddhism.
11. Today, my kids had a music program at school. I wish you could have heard one of my 1st graders sing. I couldn't stop smiling.
12. I still think it's a game.
13. I am so happy that my choices have brought me to the place I am. I'm positive that there are people who think I missed out on something or that I didn't have as much fun. There are times when I convince myself as well. Then, I hear about bad decisions. The kind that put limitations where there should be no bounds. I am sad for you. More sad than I should be. I wish I could fix it. I wish I was more powerful than I am.
14. I love helping kids learn to read. Letters, words, sentences - they are all amazing. Do you ever think, "this is huge!" I mean, babies grow inside bellies for goodness sakes! That's amazing......AMAZING! The Earth can run itself without anyone pushing play or setting an alarm. It's genius!
15. 2012 might be scary.

My mind has run off too fast and taken all of my thoughts with it. This feels good though.

idance

I am a portable dance machine.....

I have been saving an itunes gift card since Christmas. I am a terrible saver in all aspects of my life. I save things that most people would throw away (I know this isn't news) for future craftiness. I hold onto feelings that should have been abandoned on a curb long ago. AND I save itunes cards until I find the perfect songs to buy.

Here's my purchase list for the last of my Christmas:

David Bowie: Let's Dance, Modern Love

Kool & the Gang: Hollywood Swinging

Pretenders: Don't Get Me Wrong

Rosi Golan: Album The Drifters and the Gypsy

And now since I'm home alone.....Dance party

Good teaching day

Today, a little bit of my lost confidence in myself was handed back to me by 6 little first grade hands. I was la maestra today, and it was great! All this time I wasn't sure if I was ready or if I could handle a class room on my own again, but I did! A+ and a sticker on my chart.

It was just me and a sub today for reading and math. The boys were great and I feel like we got a lot done! I'm so proud of myself. Yay Mrs. Doyle!

running, espanol, and jobs

I've come to realize that I don't really like typing. I want a blog, but I'm not sure that I want to blog. That sentence might only make sense to me. Actually, maybe I don't want to blog because it reminds me of what a slacker I have been. Let's blame it on this long winter. Good idea.

Running

I've started my training again. Solo. Evan is doing his own thing at the gym now. I went to a few classes and checked out the gym, but decided that I like running outside better. Also if I'm going to take a class, I want it to be a dance class....not a wanna-be dance class.

I really have completely restarted my training - back to week one phase one minus the shuffle. I ran my three days this week - big finish with 3 miles this morning. Not sure exactly what I'm training for yet, but I really liked how I felt and how my clothes felt when I was training for a half-marathon. So that's what I'm doing.....again. I will try to keep up with my blogging about running. I hope I can do this on my own!

Espanol

Evan and I are learning Spanish! We started Rosetta Stone this week and we've already learned a lot. It's funny that the words/sentences we've learned are a lot like my 1st graders' guided readers!

I was a little nervous on our 3rd lesson when, all of a sudden, we had to move closer to the screen to see all the words they were throwing at us. We struggled through 2 parts of the lesson and gave up for the night. Then on our next lesson laughed our heads off when we realized we had been on the wrong unit! No wonder we were having such a hard time!!!!!

Jobs

I don't have official news to report on this subject, but I feel like change is in the air. Evan and I have both applied for jobs for the next school year. I will more than likely be the color guard instructor for his school and as usual I have mixed feelings about that job. We'll see. I say that a lot. I guess I need to start practicing my 5, 6, 7, 8.

ILMJ day

Yes, today is I-Love-My-Job day! Hopefully to be repeated frequently in the coming months!

I really like the people I'm working with, the students, and I definitely see and feel the value in my job! I love this feeling.

I got a job!

Yes, it's true. It took me a year to get another full time job in Texas. As soon as a get the official phone call, my title will be special education aide at the primary school. For now I'm subbing.....for myself! hahahaha.

Yesterday was my first day and I'm not exactly sure how it went. The normal special education teacher was out. So, not only was I different person in the students daily routine, but the actual teacher had a substitute. It wasn't exactly a typical day. I like the kids and the other teacher, though. That's always a good sign. There are things I did not like about my day, but I'm going to keep my mouth shut for now.

I didn't think I would really miss subbing. I guess I didn't really think about it at all. I remember one day last year, subbing in Pasadena, when I saw that girl from Deer Park. When I asked her how she liked subbing, she said, "I love it!" I didn't really believe her at the time. But, this year, in this district, I actually loved subbing! I was beginning to get calls from certain teachers again and again. It's nice to be wanted. I am actually going to miss some of the kids I subbed regularly for.