Emma's birth story

Wednesday, June 8

The night before Emma was born, I felt many emotions. I was excited and anxious to meet our little girl, but also very nervous about surgery and my new responsibilities. It was so strange to think that in a few short hours we would be parents. Evan and I kept telling each other, "she'll be here tomorrow."

Mom and Mamaw made it to Baytown early in the afternoon and it seemed that having them there to distract me made the time fly. In a blink of an eye, it was time for bed and I just knew I would never get to sleep.

I woke up several times in the night, which wasn't strange for me in the last months of my pregnancy. Evan and I were both awake at 4 am. I heard him wake up, but kept my eyes closed. When I heard the TV turn on, I knew he was up for good. I said, "me too" and we both laughed a little. It didn't take long before my first round of tears began though. I was very nervous and having a hard time hiding it that morning.

We were scheduled to arrive at the hospital at 7:30 am, but were told to call at 7:00 am just to make sure there was a room for us. Mom and Mamaw were up and ready way before Evan and I even showered. I was just about to jump in the shower at 6:50 when Evan got a call from the hospital. They wanted to know where I was! We were supposed to be there at 6:30 am to be ready for 7:30 am surgery!

This little kink in the plan sent me into tears for the second time that morning. I was already nervous about being cut open, but now I was imagining everyone rushing through my surgery to stay on schedule. I was sure they would forget to give me anesthesia...slice and dice my organs...anything that could go wrong, I was picturing. This was not how I wanted my pregnancy to end and for sure not the side of me that should get to meet my daughter first!

I quickly took a shower and we all headed to the hospital. Before we even got out of the car, the tears were trickling down my cheeks again. I didn't want to upset everyone else and I knew I would worry Mom and Mamaw if I kept this up, but I was so scared and upset. I just couldn't stop.

Evan and I made our way back to Triage to get me ready for surgery. Evan tried to make me feel better and the nurse was so sweet. She assured me that everything was going to be fine and the schedule mixups happen all the time. I finally had to look at myself in the bathroom mirror and tell myself that this was not the way I wanted this day to be. I took a deep breath, washed my face, and pulled myself together. Today, was a going to be a good day.

I had expected to meet Emma before lunch, but the surgery kept being pushed back. "We're waiting for Dr. Gayle. We're waiting for the anesthesiologist." Waiting for this, waiting for that. Finally, we were told 11:30 am was our new surgery time. Mom and Mamaw were allowed to sit with us in Triage. They were both relieved that I had calmed down.

Thurday, June 9

San Jacinto Methodist Hospital

Labor and Delivery - Triage

My bed was so uncomfortable! I now had an IV in my arm and catheter in place, but I was also very gassy that morning and the nurse told me I was having contractions! My behind was sore from sitting so long, but every time I moved I was afraid my catheter would get tugged.

At the time, I thought I would never make it to surgery because I was just so uncomfortable. Now I realize the postponement was perfect for me. I needed to be calmer about going into the operating room and I needed to spend that extra time with Evan, Mom, and Mamaw.

It was after 12:00 pm when they finally took me to the operating room. They really should think about painting operating rooms. The plain white walls, bright light, and shiny metal tools are very scary. I could feel myself getting upset again until a Weezer song came on the radio. I immediately thought of Will and the funny conversation we had about poop the night before. I was going to be okay.

The anesthesiologist came in and the nurses began preparing me for a spinal. I'm glad I couldn't see that needle! The nurse in front of me said it would feel like a bee sting and then a pinch. That's exactly what I felt. The medicine worked quickly - I barely got my feet up on the table and my body down in time before I couldn't feel my lower half! I remember telling the anesthesiologist several times how good it felt to be able to relax. After hours of being uncomfortable, not being able to move my legs and that heavy feeling in my feet felt soooooo good!

Before I left triage, I told Evan I was afraid I wouldn't have the right reaction when Emma was born. I knew I wouldn't get to see her and hold her right away and I kept thinking she would feel like and alien baby. If I wasn't pushing her out and doing all that work, how would I know she was really mine? All my worries disappeared when I heard her cry. Tears rolled down my cheeks listening to my sweet girl make her first sounds. I couldn't see that she was really there and okay, but I could hear her loud and clear. All I could do is smile and cry.

Evan decided to cut the umbilical cord after all. When she was ready, Evan carried her to me and let me see her...and she could see and hear me. She was and is beautiful. She looked at me and I hope recognized my voice. Even now, I still can't believe this beautiful little girl is mine.

After I was stitched, the nurse wheeled me to recovery. Before we made it there though, I got to see Mom and Mamaw who were both looking in the nursery. I remember asking, "Isn't she so beautiful?" I could see tears in my mom's eyes. I was so proud and happy they were there.

The time I spent in recovery seemed like an eternity. I was so anxious to get back to my room and hold Emma for the first time. I tried to rest....what else could I do. After the nurse checked what she needed check and decided I was okay, she took me into my room where Evan was waiting. I still had to wait a while longer to see Emma.

I knew that after all was said and done, I wouldn't care how I delivered Emma. What I didn't know is that I could love this little stranger more than anyone else in the world. She is the most wonderful part of my life. I still can't believe that she is mine. I get to see those little eyes look up at me every day. Welcome to your family, Emma Madeline.