Mission 4, substitute teacher

Today was my best substitute day. I taught 7th grade language arts. For the most part the kids were good. I had 3 block classes. The first on (of course) was the best. The middle broke me. I finally just sat down and let them be loud. The third was quiet when they really needed to be.  I was at a new school and the teachers were really nice. I was a stranger and they were nicer to me than the people i worked with for 5 months. The best part of the day was reading the book they were all reading. It's called The Girl Who Owned a City. I read the whole book today. I should probably edit this post...but I probably won't. Yay weekend.

Mission 3, substitute teacher

If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. That's what I'm going to stick with for today. Oh except....I did enjoy the little boy who kept asking for hugs and asking if I like his hugs.

Mission 2, substitute teacher

Today I was a 76 year old 7th grade math teacher who smelled bad. Don't worry, the kids didn't tell me I smelled bad (I could smell myself) or that I looked old.  I had the patience of a.......someone who has a lot of patience. I actually surprised myself. No serious problems. I mean it could have been a lot worse. There were probably 4 students out of each class who didn't need constant reminders about the instructions. There were also about 4 students in each class who would have been more productive sleeping. Should we graph this? Mean? Median? Range? Are those complimentary or supplementary angle?

A few kids made me so sad. They just didn't care. I don't understand that. Probably because I was the furthest away from that kind of kid when I was in school. What do you say to those kids who refuse to do work? I almost had this one today. I had him teaching two other students how to do a problem. I'm pretty sure I had him convinced he was "giving them the answer." Then SNAP back to I'm-gonna-put-my-feet-in-the-chair-and-cheat-and-rush-through-my-work-because-I-don't-care-what-you-think-me kid. tear

Positives:

1. The few kids who were actually respectful and made me feel like I was actually helping them.

2. When I was leaving I stopped to look at the color wheels that art class had painted. Some of them were really awesome. One kid had painted cats and dogs (heads) all around his color wheel. I couldn't believe how good it was really.

3. Also, on my way out (leaving was good) I had a good chat with one of my students for the day. He's in orchestra. He plays the cello. I found myself wishing I was going to see this kid again so I could see how he was doing. I hope he sticks with it. He said he likes playing and that he's going to keep playing through high school. I wish I knew his name.

3. Going home.

Ms. Pep has left the building.

I'm frustrated. I'm annoyed. I'm ready to go home. So, I don't know when this happened to me, but I am no longer a glass half full person. I think I used to be one, but I'm not sure anymore. I emailed a few people on Tuesday about some volunteer work. Okay, I know I can't pay my bills, but the volunteer work was more appealing to me than the actual paying jobs. Sad? Yes, I think so. Anyway, I found out that I am too late to volunteer with libraries adult literacy program. Bummed part 2. Yesterday I was told that there is no animal shelter in the town where I live, but I can "join" some people who go to a nearby city to work with animals. 

I guess I just keep getting myself in trouble because I see things in my head and get excited way too early. I had this vision of coming back from Christmas break, finding a job really close by. Then, I was going to sell my car and get a bike. You know what? I'm not home anymore, because that would make since there. I could probably find a club of people who ride there bikes to work and stop by the super awesome organic foods store on the way home. They have baskets on their bikes I have a toll tag on my car. 

Does anyone know of a job where I can pet puppies and kitties all day? I clean up after them...I don't have a problem with poop.

New Rule: Stop. Stop. Stop. dreaming up these ridiculous images of how my life is going to be.

Mission 1, substitute teacher

Kindergarten on a Friday. Can you imagine? They told us in our orientation that students would try to get away with breaking the rules with a substitute teacher. I knew that. I mean, I did go to school! I really don't know why I expected things to be different with Kindergarten. 

I felt a little sick when I made it to the classroom. I had no idea if the teacher would leave me a lesson plan. I really didn't know what to expect. I guess I better get used to that though. It turned out that the teacher was there, so she explained things to me.

Positives about the day:

1. No one peed in their pants (that I'm aware of).

2. I learned all of the kids names.

3. I learned that I don't hate working with children after all. (Don't seem so shocked. I was wondering for a while.)

4. It's nice to know that kids still like to color.

Negatives:

I'd have to say the only thing negative that happened that day...was my "mean girl" experience. I have never been around so many two faced petty adults. It's sad really. I'm glad that I grew up where I did and around the people that I was around because I would hate myself if I turned out like these people. Wait...should this be moved to the positive list?

The beginning of the.....beginning?

So here I am writing my very first blog. I'm going to pretend like someone else will actually read this and hopefully not get bored too quickly. I'm also going to assume you are a stranger.

I've recently moved halfway across the country, almost a day away from my family and friends. Not only that, but I decided to change careers. Something else you should know about me—I romanticize jobs. I mean, I picture myself in a career like it's a movie or something. I can see myself doing so many things that it's hard to concentrate on one job. Does that sound fun? I am trying to enjoy that part of myself, but it does get a little frustrating. 

Anyway, I've been here for almost 7 months. I don't have a job. Well, not really. I don't consider substitute teaching as a real job. I guess it kind of is though. 

Backup: I did have a job until December when I resigned from my position as an elementary school teacher. The picture I had in my head about being a role model and a fun teacher who was patient and funny...well that picture didn't quite materialize. 

Now I'm substitute teaching. Well I have for one day (I'll tell you about it next). I have no idea if I want to try another teaching job or move on to something completely different. Maybe I should stop picturing myself in jobs....because I can only see the ones I know a little about. And the ones I do know a little about...well, I can't REALLY picture myself there because I don't REALLY know what I will be doing. 

I'm almost 30. I did what I thought I was supposed to do. I mean, I did my work in school. I went to college. Got the degree. Found the job. Moved out on my own. Went through the major heartbreak. Found someone to fix it. All of that. So why don't I know what I'm doing with my life now? I guess that's what this blog will be about—finding out what I like and what I might like to do.